Go Kiss the World !

The above words are not mine; but I am able to relate to them very easily. These were the last words of Subroto Bagchi's Mother - so motivating and powerful; that it made him to discover a great company called "Mind Tree". Infact I am now reading this book written by Subroto Bagchi. Half way through this book; I find myself at a bit of crossroads. I recently did come out of Alcatel( organization that I was working for the last 8.5yrs) and joined another organization.

But at this point of time; I am finding it very difficult to disconnect from Alcatel.Every step I take, every move I make, every method I implement, every individual I interact - I have realized that Alcatel has dominated my thoughts,actions,feelings and emotions. It's been hard for me to come interms with the reality- that I have now joined another organization. Even when I am exchanging greetings with others; I still tell them I work for Alcatel. Then somewhere my mind rings a bell to ask - " Are you still with Alcatel"?

I don't know why this is going through my mind- May be Alcatel was my 1st job, was with the organization for the last 8.5yrs, was more like a 2nd home,excellent mix of people,great teams to work with,wonderful leaders who had a great vision to see the invisible,great friends,positive culture and motivating environment. I also started my career there and progressively evolved with the organization.

After I started reading the book written by Subroto; the question that comes to my mind is the following :

Did I make a mistake by coming out of Alcatel? May be yes, may be not? Could be due to the vulnerability of my age, my maturity(or the lack of it) and certain other support systems I did not have when I made the decision. Should I have been talked into by somebody?
I really don't know and don't have an answer to these questions that keeps coming back at me in a hard way. But if I had make a mistake - I don't feel bad to accept that and learn from my mistake. Emotionally- it's been a down for me( I wouldn't say an up); I take these lessons as part of my learning curve and move forward.
Do I have a choice? For whatever decision I have made - I can blame nobody else, but me and me only.

When I left Alcatel; I wanted to learn six sigma? This was the core reason. I am very much doing that and infact more learning interms of Agile,Scrum etc. But at the same time, I have very much understood that there is another angle that enhances the breadth of your learning - which is the attachment,respect and passion that you have towards your organization? Did I miss this angle somewhere? Is it a irreversible miss?

Though workwise,I do not see an issue - emotionally yes, I am finding it hard to seperate myself from Alcatel. It's a continuous battle between my mind and heart. I will have to wait and see who wins the battle?