I was holding this thoughts for quite sometime, but with a definite purpose. Next week, I am joining back my home organization - getting back to my roots! The organization that has had a positive significance on me, The organization where I started my 1st job, The organization that has a long lasting emotional bond on me, The organization where I learnt, The organization where I grew up, The organization that has made me what I am today, The organization that's more like my second home, The organization that gave me some wonderful set of friends,peers and supervisors.
The prime reason for this move; is the kind of emotional bondage that still pulled me back into the organization. Rather I should say that, it was a kind of feeling that I was not able to come out of it. I understood that having spent close to 9yrs in an organization, that too your very first organization - its was extremely difficult for me to come out of that relationship. After changing my job, I realized that the emotional ties within me dominated my actions to a very large extent and I had very minimal control over it. In fact, at the end of the 2nd month I lost my humour,at the end of the 4th, I started getting depressed and then I felt as if I had left one half of me in my previous organization. Think this was the breaking point for me and I got in touch with my well wishers there to see if there are any good opportunities for me. I was just driven by my instinct and purely followed my heart. Nothing more and nothing less!
Finally a good opportunity came in my way and I decided to take it up with an open mind. I also understood that the kind of passion and attachment that you have towards your organization, is the key factor that determines the depth and breadth of your learning and contribution towards your organization. If you miss that attachment towards your organization, then you can only be an outer winner and not an inner winner. You might successful, but not satisfied. Having worked so long with an organization, I missed it very badly.
When I sit back,reflect and contemplate the series of events - I think somewhere I messed it up due to the vulnerability of my age, lack of maturity and certain other support systems I did not have.Emotionally it was very difficult accept the disconnect. Every step I took,every move I made, every method I implemented,- I realized that my home organization has dominated my thoughts,actions,feelings and emotions. It's been hard for me to come in terms with the reality- that I have joined another organization.
Though the time I spent in my new organization helped me to learn and deploy aspects of Agile and Scrum, interact with some high profile customers,doing my bit of presales,but still I was missing something. So, I am now going back to get that satisfaction back into my stream and thoughts.
Couple of people know to me, told me that probably I am making an emotional decision of going back to my previous organization. But to me, I am just following my heart and I just want to learn from my mistakes and keep improving. That's it!
But I definitely enjoyed this process and it's a been a different kind of learning experience for me.