Every day I strive to be a good father. I am not perfect, but at the same time I keeping learning from Arjuun and try to improve. In this sense, Arjuun has been a great source of confidence to me. At times, when he throws tantrums, I have lost my cool - which was a very WRONG attitude of mine. But Arjuun helps me to get over that. I make a very careful attempt to ensure that my reactions should not impact him. At times, I try to be too perfect - which is totally meaningless.
I always keep the communication channels with Arjuun very candid and honest. Whenever I make a mistake, I sincerely get down and apologize to him and tell him that what I did was wrong. In that way, Arjuun accepts me as I am and we both embrace each other's mistake. But we create a colloborative learning space and move forward.
Some lessons that I learnt:
a) Break that " One answer is correct " attitude. There is no ONE correct answer to anything. So allow childern to expand and explore their thinking. If they call a circle as a square, they are 100% correct. They have their own logical ways of interpreting a circle as a square. Listen to them and accept their thinking patterns.
b) Do not enforce conformance at all times. Let them try,experiment different things.Allow them to fail and embrace their failures. This gives them a lot of confidence. Let them know that rules that are held sacred by conventional wisdom needs to broken and you will be there to support and nurture them.
c) Books,Books and Lot of books for them. This helps in the developing the creative and imaginative process within the child.
d) Allow them to draw,paint and scribble anything. Don't restrict them by saying- Please colour inside the square,circle etc. Let them go outside those boundaries.
e) Help them to take risks and allow free play. If they want to play in rain,sand,mud etc - allow them to do so. Just monitor them, so that they don't get hurt. Even if they get hurt, don't tell them - " See I told you, that you will get hurt". Never ever interrogate them.
f) Encourage role plays and be a part of them. Play the role that they ask you to play. This could be their teacher,classmate etc. Play them to the fullest.
g) Allow them to find solutions to the problems, by giving clues. e.g This could be as simple as, hiding some pictures and providing them clues to find it.
h) Explore them to different kinds of music - especially instrumental music and music of their choice and not yours.
i) Take them daily for a walk or a short cycling round near your house.
h) Sit down and listen to what they have to say. This means active listening and not just hearing. Look them straight into their eyes and actively get involved in their speech. Repeat what they told you and validate with them, if you have understood it in the right way. Repeating and validating - gives the children the assurance, that you have been listening them seriously and you value their thoughts,words and emotions.
Do not hear to them, by reading a book or concentrating on other topics.
j) When they throw tantrums, first do not lose your cool. Keep your cool and 1st calm them by stroking their chest,arm,head or back depending on their comfort zone.
k) Listening to the child and giving them eye contact will ease out a lot of problems.Make time to spend time with them. It helps to learn a lot from them.
Finally,understand that they are small children who do not know what they are doing.They are unable to express themselves properly. So keep that in mind and always stay calm and don't shout back when they throw tantrums.
Finally, My dear Arjuun :
I am sorry, if I had hurt your feelings in one way or the other.
It is purely un-intentional and you can be rest assured that everyday,I learn and improve in my journey to be a good father.
Thanks for being such a wonderful son and I love you so much!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Slumdog Millionare - Sucks!
Does SlumDog Millionare(SDM) - needs so much celebration? It has shown India in a very poor light and people seems to celebrate the awards that we get for that. Oh my god !
Bollywood has produced far better films than this - Films like Black,Swades,Lagaan...
When we did not celebrate the experience that these films created, I feel that the awards,rewards for SDM is just overrated and blown out of propotion. Are we celebrating for mocking India, showing us in poor light.
Black - What an extradinary performance by Amtiji and Rani. It will touch your heart.
In Swades - you can never see SRK there, only Mohan Bhargav.It creates a long lasting impact on me, every time I see that film.
Lagaan- What a film that engulfs Teamwork,Motivation,Inspiration,Facing the challenge,Perseverance,Leadership etc.
Compared to all these films, SDM just sucks and only sucks! Nothing more and nothing less.
Bollywood has produced far better films than this - Films like Black,Swades,Lagaan...
When we did not celebrate the experience that these films created, I feel that the awards,rewards for SDM is just overrated and blown out of propotion. Are we celebrating for mocking India, showing us in poor light.
Black - What an extradinary performance by Amtiji and Rani. It will touch your heart.
In Swades - you can never see SRK there, only Mohan Bhargav.It creates a long lasting impact on me, every time I see that film.
Lagaan- What a film that engulfs Teamwork,Motivation,Inspiration,Facing the challenge,Perseverance,Leadership etc.
Compared to all these films, SDM just sucks and only sucks! Nothing more and nothing less.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Back 2 My Roots !
I was holding this thoughts for quite sometime, but with a definite purpose. Next week, I am joining back my home organization - getting back to my roots! The organization that has had a positive significance on me, The organization where I started my 1st job, The organization that has a long lasting emotional bond on me, The organization where I learnt, The organization where I grew up, The organization that has made me what I am today, The organization that's more like my second home, The organization that gave me some wonderful set of friends,peers and supervisors.
The prime reason for this move; is the kind of emotional bondage that still pulled me back into the organization. Rather I should say that, it was a kind of feeling that I was not able to come out of it. I understood that having spent close to 9yrs in an organization, that too your very first organization - its was extremely difficult for me to come out of that relationship. After changing my job, I realized that the emotional ties within me dominated my actions to a very large extent and I had very minimal control over it. In fact, at the end of the 2nd month I lost my humour,at the end of the 4th, I started getting depressed and then I felt as if I had left one half of me in my previous organization. Think this was the breaking point for me and I got in touch with my well wishers there to see if there are any good opportunities for me. I was just driven by my instinct and purely followed my heart. Nothing more and nothing less!
Finally a good opportunity came in my way and I decided to take it up with an open mind. I also understood that the kind of passion and attachment that you have towards your organization, is the key factor that determines the depth and breadth of your learning and contribution towards your organization. If you miss that attachment towards your organization, then you can only be an outer winner and not an inner winner. You might successful, but not satisfied. Having worked so long with an organization, I missed it very badly.
When I sit back,reflect and contemplate the series of events - I think somewhere I messed it up due to the vulnerability of my age, lack of maturity and certain other support systems I did not have.Emotionally it was very difficult accept the disconnect. Every step I took,every move I made, every method I implemented,- I realized that my home organization has dominated my thoughts,actions,feelings and emotions. It's been hard for me to come in terms with the reality- that I have joined another organization.
Though the time I spent in my new organization helped me to learn and deploy aspects of Agile and Scrum, interact with some high profile customers,doing my bit of presales,but still I was missing something. So, I am now going back to get that satisfaction back into my stream and thoughts.
Couple of people know to me, told me that probably I am making an emotional decision of going back to my previous organization. But to me, I am just following my heart and I just want to learn from my mistakes and keep improving. That's it!
But I definitely enjoyed this process and it's a been a different kind of learning experience for me.
The prime reason for this move; is the kind of emotional bondage that still pulled me back into the organization. Rather I should say that, it was a kind of feeling that I was not able to come out of it. I understood that having spent close to 9yrs in an organization, that too your very first organization - its was extremely difficult for me to come out of that relationship. After changing my job, I realized that the emotional ties within me dominated my actions to a very large extent and I had very minimal control over it. In fact, at the end of the 2nd month I lost my humour,at the end of the 4th, I started getting depressed and then I felt as if I had left one half of me in my previous organization. Think this was the breaking point for me and I got in touch with my well wishers there to see if there are any good opportunities for me. I was just driven by my instinct and purely followed my heart. Nothing more and nothing less!
Finally a good opportunity came in my way and I decided to take it up with an open mind. I also understood that the kind of passion and attachment that you have towards your organization, is the key factor that determines the depth and breadth of your learning and contribution towards your organization. If you miss that attachment towards your organization, then you can only be an outer winner and not an inner winner. You might successful, but not satisfied. Having worked so long with an organization, I missed it very badly.
When I sit back,reflect and contemplate the series of events - I think somewhere I messed it up due to the vulnerability of my age, lack of maturity and certain other support systems I did not have.Emotionally it was very difficult accept the disconnect. Every step I took,every move I made, every method I implemented,- I realized that my home organization has dominated my thoughts,actions,feelings and emotions. It's been hard for me to come in terms with the reality- that I have joined another organization.
Though the time I spent in my new organization helped me to learn and deploy aspects of Agile and Scrum, interact with some high profile customers,doing my bit of presales,but still I was missing something. So, I am now going back to get that satisfaction back into my stream and thoughts.
Couple of people know to me, told me that probably I am making an emotional decision of going back to my previous organization. But to me, I am just following my heart and I just want to learn from my mistakes and keep improving. That's it!
But I definitely enjoyed this process and it's a been a different kind of learning experience for me.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
To be or not to be Saurav Ganguly!
One of the recent events that has caused me a certain level of discomfort is - Saurav Ganguly's decision to retire from the International Cricket Space. His outbursts and emotions are very much warranted and understandable. Though, I am not a lover of Saurav as a player, I really respect him for all his leadership capabilities. He is a tremendous leader with a sense of vision and an excellent motivator. After Kapil, Saurav is someone who stood for his mates and who gets down with his views upright. He is NOT just a captain, but a true LEADER. He is the one and probably the only one, who brought in that aggresive spirit into the Indian Team. He is the one, who made others to stop for a moment and take a look into the spirit of the Indan team. If the youngsters in the team today are performing well, it definitely has a great bearing on Saurav.
He really backed the youngsters,embraced failures,encouraged them to take risks,stood by them and helped them to evolve as an individual. He continuously helped the team to build their physical and emotional infrastructure. If the youngsters like Shewag,Harbhajan,Yuvraj,Kaif,Zaheer,Nehra etc are dominating the game today - it is ONLY due to the tremendous backing and support they got from Saurav. He was a real leader who gave the sense of freedom and motivation to his mates. He even backed Rahul and Sachin during their difficult times.
Another aspect, that I admire about Saurav - is that he gave back something to the opposition, whenever they rubbed India in the wrong way. Be it Flintoff,Ponting - they had to be given a taste of their own medicine and Saurav had the guts to do it.
But it was disappointing to see him, being treated shabily due to the board politics - starting with the Greg Chappell's episode. What was more disgusting was the fact that - they guys who were there in the team today(due credit to Saurav), didn't come to support his cause. That's the way, people are in today's world(or in today's India?). Definitely Saurav will be remembered as one of the greatest captain's of this era and he also displayed his resilience to the entire world- by making the greatest comeback in the history of cricket. If the other cricketing nations, fear India today - it's largely due to Saurav's leadership abilities and the aggressive spirit that he has instilled into every cell of the Indian Team.
He really backed the youngsters,embraced failures,encouraged them to take risks,stood by them and helped them to evolve as an individual. He continuously helped the team to build their physical and emotional infrastructure. If the youngsters like Shewag,Harbhajan,Yuvraj,Kaif,Zaheer,Nehra etc are dominating the game today - it is ONLY due to the tremendous backing and support they got from Saurav. He was a real leader who gave the sense of freedom and motivation to his mates. He even backed Rahul and Sachin during their difficult times.
Another aspect, that I admire about Saurav - is that he gave back something to the opposition, whenever they rubbed India in the wrong way. Be it Flintoff,Ponting - they had to be given a taste of their own medicine and Saurav had the guts to do it.
But it was disappointing to see him, being treated shabily due to the board politics - starting with the Greg Chappell's episode. What was more disgusting was the fact that - they guys who were there in the team today(due credit to Saurav), didn't come to support his cause. That's the way, people are in today's world(or in today's India?). Definitely Saurav will be remembered as one of the greatest captain's of this era and he also displayed his resilience to the entire world- by making the greatest comeback in the history of cricket. If the other cricketing nations, fear India today - it's largely due to Saurav's leadership abilities and the aggressive spirit that he has instilled into every cell of the Indian Team.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Rise Above The Ashes !!!
Sep 6th is a very important day in my life. That was the day, I joined Alcatel and took up my 1st job. But this sep 6th 2008; I was not a part of Alcatel anymore. Yes; definitely feeling nostalgic, but that's how life is. I have understood that I had to move on and raise above my discomfort and uncertanity.
If you are now living in the lowest status of life, a life that always has a storm, great disappointments and failures, don't be discouraged and worry my friend. You can rise, Rise Above the Ashes!
Yes, you can rise above the ashes for you are destined to be a conqueror of this world.The Loving God gave you the power of choice to choose and to live the ideal life that you want. Therefore, stop wasting your time living a mediocre life. Learn to stand once again and prove to the world that you are a "dare to fail" individual who cannot be easily swayed and cannot be easily discouraged by the challenges of life.Beginning today, tag yourself with a higher price. Dream a big dream. Think a big plan for your life and make a firm resolution to dare mighty things to make your plan into reality.To achieve your dreams, always work hard with definite purpose and don't ever think of backsliding because the world cannot be won with a doubtful spirit.So, move on and don't ever give up!Always motivate your mind to have faith and believe in yourself. Remember, the larger your faith, the smaller your fears. The great your trust, the lesser your doubts. The stronger your beliefs, the weaker your worries. Therefore, keep your faith and believe in yourself for it will guide, help and bring you to the door of success!
If the time comes and the sparks tempt you to give up and go back to the life of mediocrity, remind yourself with these words... My Loving God balances my life by giving me enough blessings to keep me happy, enough failures to keep me humble and enough trials to keep me strong in the challenges of life. Therefore, I will face these tests of life with an open-mind, enthusiasm, persistence, and determination that once again, I can rise! Rise Above the Ashes!
Finally, remember my friend, that the Loving God helps those who help themselves! Good Luck to your Journey in Life!
(PS: This message is extracted from www.Motivateus.com)
If you are now living in the lowest status of life, a life that always has a storm, great disappointments and failures, don't be discouraged and worry my friend. You can rise, Rise Above the Ashes!
Yes, you can rise above the ashes for you are destined to be a conqueror of this world.The Loving God gave you the power of choice to choose and to live the ideal life that you want. Therefore, stop wasting your time living a mediocre life. Learn to stand once again and prove to the world that you are a "dare to fail" individual who cannot be easily swayed and cannot be easily discouraged by the challenges of life.Beginning today, tag yourself with a higher price. Dream a big dream. Think a big plan for your life and make a firm resolution to dare mighty things to make your plan into reality.To achieve your dreams, always work hard with definite purpose and don't ever think of backsliding because the world cannot be won with a doubtful spirit.So, move on and don't ever give up!Always motivate your mind to have faith and believe in yourself. Remember, the larger your faith, the smaller your fears. The great your trust, the lesser your doubts. The stronger your beliefs, the weaker your worries. Therefore, keep your faith and believe in yourself for it will guide, help and bring you to the door of success!
If the time comes and the sparks tempt you to give up and go back to the life of mediocrity, remind yourself with these words... My Loving God balances my life by giving me enough blessings to keep me happy, enough failures to keep me humble and enough trials to keep me strong in the challenges of life. Therefore, I will face these tests of life with an open-mind, enthusiasm, persistence, and determination that once again, I can rise! Rise Above the Ashes!
Finally, remember my friend, that the Loving God helps those who help themselves! Good Luck to your Journey in Life!
(PS: This message is extracted from www.Motivateus.com)
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Friendship Day !
August 3rd is celebrated as Friendship day. My thanks to all my friends, I have come across. Thanks for being such a good friend and extending your support,help and wishes. It's been great to have you into my life. Have a great friendship day.
Wishing you and your family lot of good health,happiness and luck in the years to come!
One info that I would like to share at this moment :
August 1st 2008 marked - 100 days of continuous communication(on a daily basis) by Amitabh to his readers via his blog. There was so much to learn from him.
Inspite of his gruelling schedules,illhealth,travelling,shooting,recording,promos,meeting,acting,discussing,time with family...his sense of commitment to reflect his thoughts on a daily basis for 100 days non-stop is something amazing. This is a true reflection of his time management and loads of energy that he has in store. From him - the best lessons that I learnt is : There is always time in a day to do everything; if you are attached to it!
To top all of it; he finds time not to just write his own blog, but also reads the invidual comments from the readers and replies to them. True sense of commitment, isn't it?
Happy Friendship Day!
Wishing you and your family lot of good health,happiness and luck in the years to come!
One info that I would like to share at this moment :
August 1st 2008 marked - 100 days of continuous communication(on a daily basis) by Amitabh to his readers via his blog. There was so much to learn from him.
Inspite of his gruelling schedules,illhealth,travelling,shooting,recording,promos,meeting,acting,discussing,time with family...his sense of commitment to reflect his thoughts on a daily basis for 100 days non-stop is something amazing. This is a true reflection of his time management and loads of energy that he has in store. From him - the best lessons that I learnt is : There is always time in a day to do everything; if you are attached to it!
To top all of it; he finds time not to just write his own blog, but also reads the invidual comments from the readers and replies to them. True sense of commitment, isn't it?
Happy Friendship Day!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Enroute to hell !
Time and again; I see a very bad sight of leghorn chickens, carried upside down- tied(in a large numbers) to the handlebars of the cycle and the rear parts of the scooter/bike. It's a very sorry sight to see how animals are treated in the most cruel fashion in our country.
It's clear that these chickens are taken to be killed; but let's treat them with some respect on their way to hell!
Most of chickens, get burn from the heat that gets generated from the 2 wheeler silencer and worst, they passively inhale the harmful gases like CO as well. Some of them even hit the ground when the 2 wheeler guy takes a heroic turn and some chicken heads and legs gets damaged in the cycle spokes and tyres.
The only way to stop such cruelty to animals is to practice vegetarianism. Break the deman and supply chain - when there is no demand for these chickens/animals, atleast then will we treat them as a fellow being - with due respect which they deserve?
It's clear that these chickens are taken to be killed; but let's treat them with some respect on their way to hell!
Most of chickens, get burn from the heat that gets generated from the 2 wheeler silencer and worst, they passively inhale the harmful gases like CO as well. Some of them even hit the ground when the 2 wheeler guy takes a heroic turn and some chicken heads and legs gets damaged in the cycle spokes and tyres.
The only way to stop such cruelty to animals is to practice vegetarianism. Break the deman and supply chain - when there is no demand for these chickens/animals, atleast then will we treat them as a fellow being - with due respect which they deserve?
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